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Junkie

Every addict knows the feeling. Itching, tickling, scratching away at you. I need another fix. And it's been too long. I'm not picky any more, I'm willing to go for something less pure, willing to steal a little to get it. Steal a little time from classes; give up on that night out so that I can get up early just to see if the weather is good. I need to get into the mountains. I don't mind any more if it's climbing or running, skiing or just walking, but I need to get out.

But the next problem is just as bad: nobody understands your addiction. Just come out, don't bother this weekend, come on, wouldn't you rather be out with your friends? "Sure", I think. I'd rather be out with my friends. In the mountains. So you have to make new friends, friends who are addicts like you. And the cycle deepens. Soon there is no escape, it becomes normal, even mundane.

In the snowy mountains of Tuiza

Getting my fix.

And when it becomes mundane, that's when it really gets bad. When last week's fix just isn't enough anymore. You need something harder, stronger, a richer experience. You have to push your limits, exhaust yourself, put yourself in harm's way. And you try to explain, but there are no words to describe the feeling; there is no logic to your actions.

And so nobody understands.

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One Comment

  1. Hayley
    Posted February 25, 2010 at 3:24 am | Permalink

    Hey dave, hope Spain is still wicked fun, you missed a scorch­ing house party, some climbers turned up, and my sis­ter on true men­tal case form. Loved read­ing your last entry, ‘the addic­tion’. Cant wait to get back to the lakes in a few days.. going ice climb­ing hope­fully then meet­ing up at dud­don hut for the luumc trip. Hope ur keep­ing well and push­ing the bound­ar­ies.. make the most of it : ) x x x

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